


I am here now

by Fluika



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-04 08:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10272239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluika/pseuds/Fluika
Summary: The Holmes boy's have fell in a deep depression, John and Greg don't know until it is to late.Sherlock finds drugs.Mycroft finds emptiness.John finds Sherlock.Greg finds Mycroft.





	1. Sherlock falls. (Johnlock part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock tries to end his life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is bad, I am not 100% sure how drugs are used but yea.  
> also I know this is sad, this is just what I picture life would be like, I promise there will be a happy ending tho!!!
> 
> ~Fluika

_Mary Elizabeth Watson_

_Loving Mother and Wife_

_1974-2017_

 

Sherlock reads on Mary's gravestone with this memory of John blaming Sherlock replays in his head. Some part of Sherlock knows it wasn't really his fault for Mary's death but John's words leave him so heartbrokenthat Sherlock can't help but blame himself. 

It's hard for Sherlock to put of a smile when he just hurts so much on the inside. He always wanted to tell John something, just those three little words, Sherlock had never felt that way about anyone but John... John Watson was the first person that Sherlock has ever liked.

 

 

>  "Sherlock is actually a girl's name." Sherlock told John but of course that's not what he wanted to tell John.
> 
>  

The memory's of John raced through Sherlock's head, all the times he should of told him what he felt, all the times where Sherlock and John were so, so close to a kiss but just not close enough. 

Sherlock was glad it was a rainy day because if anyone were to see him they would think that if was just the rain on his face and not the actual tears that Sherlock was crying now. He would never admit to someone, not even himself, that he needed help, that his drug addiction is getting worst, that at this rate he will only live for about a week or two.

 

* * *

 

Now back at the flat.

Sherlock was hiding in his room crying in a ball on his bed. It was dark outside and the rain still hadn't stopped. Sherlock was alone in 221B, Mrs. Hudson was spending sometime with her sister, but Sherlock didn't mind because this meant he didn't have to hide his cries or his drugs.

Sherlock hates his addiction and he really wants to stop but he can't bring himself to do it, he just hurts to much. It's not like the drug do much anymore, he still feels pain, he still always remembers, but drugs have become apart of his life now and Mycroft has stopped checking up on him so Sherlock never feels like overdosing is a bad thing, because now he knows John hates him and now his only brother hates him.

Sherlock glances at his nightstand at the corner of his bed. The nightstand and everything on it hurt Sherlock to look at, the stand itself was a gift from John for his birthday. On the stand laid[ a picture of John and Sherlock at John and Mary's wedding](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QhSC9GfXWP8/maxresdefault.jpg), a picture on Sherlock and Mycroft his mother gave him for his birthday, and a syringe. The syringe was filled with enough to kill a man, and Sherlock wasn't really sure is that is what he wanted to do but it just hurt so much to live.

He gets up from the bed and grabs the syringe, enters the living room, and sits in John's chair, which still smells like him, and slowly inserted the drugs into his system.

Sherlock was shaking so bad, he tried to stay still but some part of him didn't want to die, some part of him just need to tell John how he feels first... but it was to late and Sherlock's body was giving out and his mind went black...

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Sherlock falls (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John finds Sherlock...

John was in a cab on his way to 221B to see Sherlock. He knows he has been a asshole to Sherlock but he wants to make it up to him, he feels so guilt about how he treated Sherlock.

The cab arrived to the flat and John got out paying the cab driver. John ran upstairs and saw Sherlock on the his chair.

"Sherlock, thank god you are here. Look I know I haven't been the best of friends for the past few weeks, I am still mad and upset by I wanted to say sorry..." John talked over to Sherlock to face him. That little awkward smile John had on faded away when he saw the syringe still in Sherlock's arm.

"HOLY SHIT SHERLOCK!" John yelled at dropped to his knees and tried to slowly pull the syringe out. "Oh god Sherlock, please be okay." He tried to felt for a pulse, it was faint but there is still something. John jumped on his feet and called an ambulance, he was barely able to speak on the phone because John was just so speechless. He didn't think Sherlock was this bad, Mycroft had asked him to see Sherlock every few days because he was busy, but John just thought it was just some stupid plan to get John and Sherlock to talk again.

John sits on the floor by Sherlock's feet and cries. His best friend Sherlock Holmes just tried to kill himself and hi was all his fault that he wasn't there...

 

* * *

 

 The ambulance had came and got Sherlock and took him to a hospital.

After about a hour or so, a doctor came out of the room and asked.

"John Watson?"

"Yes, is he alright?"

"Well yes and no." John's eyes started to water.

"Normally to a doctor to doctor I would say it as it is but you are his family according to Sherlock's records."

"I don't get a care. You tell what is wrong with him and don't you dare fucking sugar coat it." John looked the doctor straight in the eyes.

"Okay, umm... Well Sherlock has fallen into a stage 2 coma. He is having a bit trouble breathing and we are unsure if he will make it." John was in tears now. "We see difficult this can be, you are free to see him but keep in mind he can't hear you."

John pushed past the doctor and raced into the room to see Sherlock laying on the bed still unconscious.

 

* * *

 

 A few weeks have pasted and Greg, Molly, and Mrs. Hudson have visited once every 3 days or so. John was there from the time visiting hours started until they ended. He would just stay in the corner on the room watching Sherlock hoping that some day he will wake up.

Another few weeks have pasted and no sign of Mycroft or Sherlock.

"Come on Sherlock it has been almost 2 months now." John said, but he was starting to loss hope, he knew that comas can last up to a year or so but this was Sherlock Holmes. John was just about to leave the room but then he heard.

"John? JOHN!" Sherlock voice was dry but still understandable.

"Sherlock! OH GOD SHERLOCK YOU ARE OKAY!" John ran to Sherlock's side and hugged him.

 

* * *

 

It was now 4 weeks after Sherlock got out of the hospital and was doing well. They didn't take any cases, Dr. John Watson's orders, and they never talked about the drug overdose until...

"Sherlock we need to talk. All I want to know is why?" John asked.

Sherlock was staring out the window of the flat. "Why John? Did you just ask me why? Because if I recall, the one person who I have cared about hates me! Did you ever stop to think that maybe never talking to me, even though you called me your BEST FRIEND, could hurt me? You know you are not the only one who care about Mary, she was my friend too, but no John Watson is the only one who can feel sad!" Sherlock yelled.

"Sherlock... I am sorry. I really am." John looked down to the ground as tears started to form in his eyes.

"No John you don't get to be sorry. I am the one that killed you wife. It is my fault and you have every right to hate me, but what I don't understand why you tried to save me, why can't you just let me die so I don't have to live in these hell anymore." Sherlock cries trying not to make eye contact.

"Because you are my best friend Sherlock, I should of ever blamed you. It's not your fault. I loved Mary so much and I have never felt so happy with anyone." John's words hurt Sherlock even more.

Sherlock dropped to his knees. "Sherlock are you okay!" John fell on his knees right by Sherlock. "No John I am not okay." Sherlock cried and cried while John hugged him close.

"What is wrong? Please tell me Sherlock." John asked.

"I... I can't stand you loving Mary. I can't stand how happy you are with her."

"What? Why?" John paused in shock, did Sherlock hate Mary?

"Because I love you..." Sherlock cried in hurt, he wants John to love him but..."

"You what!?" John was speechless.

"I love you John. I know you aren't gay so just let me die, you go find a nice girl and marry her."

"Sherlock..."

"No John, please go." He pushed John away.

"Sherlock..."

"Look, John just go!"

"No. I... I love you too Sherlock."

"No you don't your not gay. Stop trying to make me feel better because it will only make it worst." John cupped Sherlock's face.

"I am not lying. We will figure it out."

"But you're not gay."

"We will figure it out."

"But you're not gay!" Sherlock cried out.

"I love you Sherlock." John hugged Sherlock again but this time tighter.

"Please never leave me again." Sherlock begged.

"It's okay, I am here now." John pulled Sherlock in for a kiss. There first kiss, and it was everything they wanted. John and Sherlock soon fell asleep on the floor in each others arms in there home of 221B.


	3. Mycroft falls (mystrade part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mycroft is sick of people, they always hurt him. Mycroft begins to starve himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this is crappy, but I try.

"Mr. Holmes, dinner is ready, would you like to come out or would you prefer to eat in your room again?" One of the maids yelled from the other side of the door to Mycroft's room.

"No, I am good, I am still full from lunch." Mycroft lied. 

"But Mr. Holmes all you had was salad with just lettuce," There was a pause. " And you didn't even finish that."

"I SAID I AM A GOOD!" Mycroft yelled. " I am sorry, that was rude of me. I am good now if you could please excuse yourself."

"Yes Mr.Holmes." The maid left.

 

Mycroft laid on the floor beside his bed, he felt so empty but empty is good right? He needs to be skinny and fit, the work out isn't working so maybe starving himself will help. 

For as long as Mycroft can remember he was always fat and he hated it, everyone made fun of him even his only brother Sherlock, but like he cared. Mycroft was hurting and deep down he need something to fill this emptiness and it wasn't food, it was so much more but who will give it to him?

 

* * *

 

 

Days of starving turned into weeks turned into 2 months and he had just got a phone call that Sherlock was in the hospital, Mycroft wanted to go but he just felt to weak he hated himself even more now because he can't even get out of bed. So he lays there crying just begging for it to be over.

He started to feel his body shut down and he felt his life slowly slip away...

 

 

* * *

 

 

*After Sherlock woke up in the hospital.*

Sherlock laid on the hospital bed as Lestrade sat in the chair next to him reading the newspaper. John was at home sleeping even though how much he hated to leave Sherlock, Lestrade told John to go home and get some rest and that he will watch over Sherlock. The room was mostly silent besides that sound of breathing and the page turning from the newspaper.

"George can I ask you to do me a favor?" Sherlock ask.

"Are you talking to me? My name is Greg for God sake Sherlock." Greg put down the paper to look at Sherlock.

"Oh really, sorry. But Greg can I ask you to do me a favor?"

"Sure Sherlock, what is it?" Sherlock took a moment to think about how to phase what he wants to ask.

"Could you check up on Mycroft for me? I am a little worried, he normally would be the first person to see me. I mean this isn't the first time I have been in here for drugs but he always comes." Greg could see some pain in Sherlock's eyes that he was clearly worried about his brother. "I can give you his address, just knock on the front door and tell the maid I sent you, and make sure you give no hint you are coming because knowing him he will show off and act like he is fine even if he is-"   

Greg interrupted "Look Sherlock I will be happy to do it, you don't need to justify yourself."

"Okay, thank you Gavi- Greg" Sherlock smiled. Greg almost cried a little at the fact Sherlock corrected himself without the help of someone else.

 

* * *

 

Greg took a cab to Mycroft's place and knocked on the door like he was told.

"Hello." Some woman answer the door, _must be one of the maids_ Greg thought.

"Oi, I am here to see Mycroft Holmes, his brother Sherlock sent me here."  

"Oh, well Mr.Holmes is not feeling good and wishes to be left alone."

"Yes that is was Sherlock was saying. That is why I am here, Mycroft text Sherlock to come but Sherlock had a accident and is still in the hospital." Greg had to come up with some lie to get in.

"Really! Well I hope he gets better, come in Mr.Holmes' room is just up stairs and is the 3rd door on your lift. Please tell him he are all worried for him." The maid moved aside letting Greg in.

"Yes, thank you." Greg went up the stairs to Mycroft's room and knocked on the door.

"Mycroft? It's me D.I. Lestrade. I am here to check on you, if you don't know already Sherlock is in the hospital for umm... reasons, look if you could please let me in." Lestrade jiggled the handle to the door but it was locked. "Mycroft please I don't want to have to break open this door but I will. Sherlock and I are really worried." He put his ear to the door to listen to any movement, but he didn't hear anything. "Fine we are going to do it my way."

Greg kick the door once, it wasn't hard enough, he kicked again breaking the lock. Lestrade opened the door and saw Mycroft laying on his bed.

"Oi, Mycroft get up." Greg went over to Mycroft's body. "Hey are you okay?" He pull his hand to Mycroft's forehead. "Fucking hell Mycroft your cold." Greg also checked his pulse, there was nothing. "MYCROFT. FUCK SHIT, SHIT, SHIT" Lestrade tried to think about what to do...     


	4. Mycroft falls (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg wants Mycroft to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all shit and I don't know what I am writing anymore so enjoy.

Mycroft woke in the hospital and the only one in the room was Greg. 

"Where am I?" Mycroft spoke, his voice a bit dry.

"Your in the hospital because I found you on your bed dead!" Greg raised his voice.  _Both of these bloody Holmes boys are going to kill be in they keep almost dying. I swear._ Greg said in his head. 

"I'm, i'm sorry, I just." Mycroft gave a shocked look.

"No, I should be sorry, it's just why? Why would you try to kill yourself mate?"

"That's what the doctors told you?" Greg nodded. "Well that's because they're stupid goldfish. I wasn't trying to kill myself, I was merely trying to lose weight, everyone tells me who fat I am. I figured starving myself would be the quickest way, but I went to far." Mycroft became to cry. "I am sorry I never meant to go this far. SHERLOCK!" Mycroft yelled. "Gregory, where is Sherlock he is in the hospital I need to see him." He tried to get up but his body was weak.

"No Mycroft just lad down, Sherlock went home, he was been out of the hospital for 2 days now, but he is fine. Him and John are at home." Mycroft nodded and lowered himself back down. "Now back to starving yourself, why would you be bothered by what others think."

Mycroft look confused. "Because it's not just others it's Sherlock too, I have always been fat and I hate my body to fucking much I would be better if I just stayed dead." Mycroft was crying again. Greg had no idea what to do so he just hugged him. "Gregory? What are you doing?" 

"I don't know, but I want to help you. You are Mycroft bloody Holmes and you are not fat. I am so happy you are not dead, so is Sherlock and John, we need you. I am sorry people treat you so mean but I promise you that you are not fat." Mycroft was crying hard now, clinging onto Greg. 

"Why do you care, I am nothing. I am a freak."

"Shh, Mycroft just rest. We will talk more later."

"Okay, but one more thing."

"Anything"

"Don't leave me."

"I promise. Mycroft I would leave you."

"Gregory, can I tell you something?"

"Anything." Greg laugh.

"I know we don't really know each other but I think I like you. You just make me feel so happy and loved, I don't understand it, why do you care?"

Greg was shocked, but a smile slowly fulled his face. "Because I think I like you too. Now please sleep love."

Mycroft nodded and fell asleep with a warm feeling in is heart, knowing that the man he has a silly little crush on likes him the same.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later, Mycroft got out of the hospital and sat in his room.

Mycroft looks over to the piece of paper that laid in front of him on the tale. It had a number written on it, Greg Lestrade's number. 

Right before Mycroft got to go home, Greg told Mycroft to call him if he needs. Which Mycroft wants to call but doesn't want to seem desperate, but of course Mycroft picks up the phone and looks the paper.

 

 

 

 Call me <3   ;)

(020) 6926 7386               [[[ the number on the phone makes Mycroft + a number.]]]

 

 

"Oi." Greg answer the phone.

"Hello? Is this Gregory?" Mycroft was nervous.

"Mycroft Holmes! I am glad you called! What can I do for you?" Greg sounded really happy to hear from Mycroft.

"Yea, I was wondering if you would like to come over to night... For dinner... Just you and I..." Mycroft was shaking and could barely speak the words what are on his lips.  _Fuck it shouldn't be this hard to talk_ Mycroft thought.

Greg smiled to himself. " I would love to Mycroft. What time should I come by?"

Mycroft looked at the clock. "How about an hour from now." 

"Perfect. I will see you than." 

"Great, see you" They hung up. 

Mycroft couldn't help but have a big cheesy smile on his face, he has never felt this happy.

 

* * *

 

One hour later, Greg was at the painfully familiar door step. He knocked and waited, but when the door opened he was shocked to see Mycroft being the one opening the door. 

"Hello Gregory. Please come in."

"Mycroft." Greg walked into the house and looked around. 

"This way." Mycroft lead Greg up stairs to his room. "I hope you don't mind staying in my room until dinner is ready."

"No that's fine."

"Great." Mycroft and Greg entered and sat in [lounge chairs with a table put in the middle.](http://www.barrysofficefurniture.com/content/images/sce/Products/Sirena-with-table-3371CRTL_l.v633923599500000000.jpg) 

"Gregory, can I ask you something?" Mycroft was shaken, he has never felt this way for anyone.

"Of course."

"Did you mean it when you said that you liked me?"

"Yea, I have liked you for a long time now. Mycroft you make me happy whether you believe it or not. Lets just say this, you make me feel better than my ex.wife ever did."

"Really? You like me more than her?" 

"Well, she cheated on my so I hope so."

"Ah, yea. Sorry about that." Mycroft looked out the window not sure what to say. I he likes - no loves this man sitting in front of him yet he has no clue what to say. 

"Do you like me back?" Greg interrupted the silence.

"Yes." Mycroft blush still looking out the window. "And Greg will you be my... my... you know what Gregory. I mean in the last few mouths I have hated myself more than I have ever before. But you, you make me feel loved, something I have never felt. I need you Gregory, please." Mycroft was crying, his heart was pounding. 

Greg got up and went to the other side of the table where Mycroft sat, he got on his knees if front of Mycroft and hugged him. "You are okay. I am so proud of you for trying to get better Mycroft."

"I can't do this without you Gregory." 

"You don't have to be alone, it's okay Mycroft I am here now. You would ever have to be alone. I love you." Those words, those 3 little words make Mycroft's heart melt, his stomach flutter, and cry even more.

"I love you too Gregory."

 

 


End file.
